Friday, June 25, 2004
Both of us knew the walls we’re building.. Slowly but steadily its growing in height. I thought our relationship is able to withstand even the strongest of winds and storms. I guess I was wrong. Many a times I want to stop this building work, but I guess I’m so used to doing that I actually continue.. "sorry.!" Once again, how wrong I was. I wanted to talk. But it seems to me that the distance between you and me had widened. -Circle of friends? Time spent together? Miscommunications? Avoidance? Jealousy? Whatever the other reasons are- Further and further apart we had grown. Drifted away from each other. Yet, I stood there and did nothing. I thought I’ll leave nature to take its own course.. But right now, I realise its totally useless to rely on it.
You know?
Your words brought tears to my eyes. Yes, once again. I’ll let you know this: I’m really thankful for you. You had and have and I know you always will be that wonderful friend of mine. You’re that someone who will whisper words of encouragements to me when I’m down. You’re that someone who will always be there when I needed to talk. Thanks for standing by me. Even when there are times of silence, I can dare say it’s the best conversation ever with you.. Your company has truly made a significant difference! I appreciate that.. I thank you for that. And I pray you will continue to do that cos you’re the only one who is able to play that role in my life!
Indeed, nearly six years of friendship! It seemed a whole lifetime for us both. Count the many little secrets we shared in the past, count the hours we both talked on the phone, count the number of times only the two of us went out, count count COUNTLESS!! Such fond memories still lingers in my head.. You had made such deep impact in my life.. And I also want to thank you, babe, for that first move you took.. I guess without it, both of us will be sisters (if you call it as that?)no more.. Thanks for wanting to salvage this relationship. I’ll tell you this too: I never wanted to lose you as a friend, a confidant. Never-ever! You can call me selfish whatever.. You’re a treasure I’ll hold on no matter what!
*I loved that telepathy kinda thing we used to have.. Times when we both knew what each other is thinking without actually having to say it out. I know this telepathy is still working. For you and for me.. Let’s not let this die off alright? Promise to put conscious effort into reviving our relationship?
I promise, I will !
You know?
Your words brought tears to my eyes. Yes, once again. I’ll let you know this: I’m really thankful for you. You had and have and I know you always will be that wonderful friend of mine. You’re that someone who will whisper words of encouragements to me when I’m down. You’re that someone who will always be there when I needed to talk. Thanks for standing by me. Even when there are times of silence, I can dare say it’s the best conversation ever with you.. Your company has truly made a significant difference! I appreciate that.. I thank you for that. And I pray you will continue to do that cos you’re the only one who is able to play that role in my life!
Indeed, nearly six years of friendship! It seemed a whole lifetime for us both. Count the many little secrets we shared in the past, count the hours we both talked on the phone, count the number of times only the two of us went out, count count COUNTLESS!! Such fond memories still lingers in my head.. You had made such deep impact in my life.. And I also want to thank you, babe, for that first move you took.. I guess without it, both of us will be sisters (if you call it as that?)no more.. Thanks for wanting to salvage this relationship. I’ll tell you this too: I never wanted to lose you as a friend, a confidant. Never-ever! You can call me selfish whatever.. You’re a treasure I’ll hold on no matter what!
*I loved that telepathy kinda thing we used to have.. Times when we both knew what each other is thinking without actually having to say it out. I know this telepathy is still working. For you and for me.. Let’s not let this die off alright? Promise to put conscious effort into reviving our relationship?
I promise, I will !
Monday, June 21, 2004
why is it that i feel something terribly missing in my life?
there is this emptiness in me that makes my life so incomplete.
i cant figure out what IT is that i lack.
i doubt i will know what IT is anyway...
such weird feelings.
there is this emptiness in me that makes my life so incomplete.
i cant figure out what IT is that i lack.
i doubt i will know what IT is anyway...
such weird feelings.
Friday, June 18, 2004
12th June 04
the mangrove tour
a night filled with a whole galaxy of stars. some twinkling ever so bright, while others lies fainter than the rest. i sat on the sampan (speedboat) and it treads on the river course. a wide one initially with smaller and shorter bushes on the edges. my head was lifted high into the sky. what i saw was the cloudless night sky with countless of stars above me. you bet, theres nothing to separate them from me! the distance between the b-e-a-utiful night sky and myself became ever so close. never in my life i saw so many stars! i even pointed out the scorpio constellation to the others on board. how lovely the night is...
my very first encounter with the fireflies!!!
it seemed legendary. for i only see them on television and read it in books. i have waited patiently for "that" day i will have one in my hands, and today marks that special day i yearned for. i saw with my very own eyes FIREFLIES at a distance away from me. at the river bank and well above the waters, i saw the very faint light exudes by those insects. its so magical! seeing them dance with their lights fickling at the abdomen area a few times in a second gets me so excited. how unbelievable! i yearned i hoped and i longed for this day to come and it actually became a reality! then, the speedboat moved towards one of the bushes filled with fireflies. yes, they're just a stretch of an arm away from me. i moved closer to them. it was fascination at the beginning and then it grew to amazement. excitement fills in later. the emotions were many and mixed. the feeling was wonderful! i lifted both my hands, inched my way to that particular bush. stretch it out and try to catch them. i had to admit i was scared in the first place. whatever that creature is?! i dont feel like trying at all! BUT i know if i dont, i will never see another ever again. its now or never.. and so, i brave all odds and convinced myself that they are only fireflies. and i'm right! indeed they are, flies with light!
when i held my first one in my hands, i dont know whether to hold it tight or loose. i really do not know. i can see the light grew in between my hands. indescribable feelings! i guess you guys are simply jealous. i know you all are. denial is bad, so yeah agree! haha. i let the firefly go eventually some time later. and decided to catch hold of more flies after my first successful attempt. one after another, i really cannot recall how many fireflies went into that hallow i made with both my hands. the whole journey with mother nature, the sound of the crickets and the mating of the fireflies up in the trees. absolutely a fantasy which came true for me...
food for thought:
the easier it is to catch a firefly shows the earlier you will get married in the future!
the long lighted flies are those of the males, whereas the shorter ones belong to the females
fireflies take two weeks to hatch from the egg to form the pupae and then the lavae. nutrients are in the form of worms for survival.
the lifespan of fireflies is four weeks! such that their light will become fainter and fainter and dies off finally. this marks the death of the firefly.
fireflies mate at the top part of the trees, where the females stay put there and the males travel to find them. (a christmas tree like scenary) etc etc
what a once in a lifetime experience i must say.
i love you mother nature!
the mangrove tour
a night filled with a whole galaxy of stars. some twinkling ever so bright, while others lies fainter than the rest. i sat on the sampan (speedboat) and it treads on the river course. a wide one initially with smaller and shorter bushes on the edges. my head was lifted high into the sky. what i saw was the cloudless night sky with countless of stars above me. you bet, theres nothing to separate them from me! the distance between the b-e-a-utiful night sky and myself became ever so close. never in my life i saw so many stars! i even pointed out the scorpio constellation to the others on board. how lovely the night is...
my very first encounter with the fireflies!!!
it seemed legendary. for i only see them on television and read it in books. i have waited patiently for "that" day i will have one in my hands, and today marks that special day i yearned for. i saw with my very own eyes FIREFLIES at a distance away from me. at the river bank and well above the waters, i saw the very faint light exudes by those insects. its so magical! seeing them dance with their lights fickling at the abdomen area a few times in a second gets me so excited. how unbelievable! i yearned i hoped and i longed for this day to come and it actually became a reality! then, the speedboat moved towards one of the bushes filled with fireflies. yes, they're just a stretch of an arm away from me. i moved closer to them. it was fascination at the beginning and then it grew to amazement. excitement fills in later. the emotions were many and mixed. the feeling was wonderful! i lifted both my hands, inched my way to that particular bush. stretch it out and try to catch them. i had to admit i was scared in the first place. whatever that creature is?! i dont feel like trying at all! BUT i know if i dont, i will never see another ever again. its now or never.. and so, i brave all odds and convinced myself that they are only fireflies. and i'm right! indeed they are, flies with light!
when i held my first one in my hands, i dont know whether to hold it tight or loose. i really do not know. i can see the light grew in between my hands. indescribable feelings! i guess you guys are simply jealous. i know you all are. denial is bad, so yeah agree! haha. i let the firefly go eventually some time later. and decided to catch hold of more flies after my first successful attempt. one after another, i really cannot recall how many fireflies went into that hallow i made with both my hands. the whole journey with mother nature, the sound of the crickets and the mating of the fireflies up in the trees. absolutely a fantasy which came true for me...
food for thought:
the easier it is to catch a firefly shows the earlier you will get married in the future!
the long lighted flies are those of the males, whereas the shorter ones belong to the females
fireflies take two weeks to hatch from the egg to form the pupae and then the lavae. nutrients are in the form of worms for survival.
the lifespan of fireflies is four weeks! such that their light will become fainter and fainter and dies off finally. this marks the death of the firefly.
fireflies mate at the top part of the trees, where the females stay put there and the males travel to find them. (a christmas tree like scenary) etc etc
what a once in a lifetime experience i must say.
i love you mother nature!
Sunday, June 06, 2004
its been long since i posted.. and this page has been a stop over for me to blog surf this past two months. well currently i'm busy with this oversea community involvement project in which i'll be leaving for bintan next thursday. guess it will be an enriching experience for me and i have yet to pack my luggage!! gotta ask around for a lot of stuff now as well.. found out that i lack of some parts here and there. gosh! will update you guys once i get back to singapore on the sixteen kae. pray for me, my group's safety and everything alright? thanks!
anyways just a question for you guys to ponder about: what is one thing we can do to improve the quality of life of the world? and how to go about doing it?
its a combination of econs and general paper kinda thing here if you noticed. but anyway to me, instead of concentrating bigger issues like terrorism and pollution, i touched on something really personal. cos i felt that the one thing i wanna change or should i say improve on would be the distance between family members and myself and my friends and me. its been long since anyone could really spend their time sitting down with their loved ones just chatting away their afternoon and spending constructive time together. more often than not we are indulged in things that we spend so much time on and then we neglect about the people around us. how often do we want to meet up with them despite the busy schedule all of us have? usually not i suppose.
technology has made it so convenient that we could drop an sms each time we needed stuff from people.. i remembered years ago i used to call my friends up and would talk on the phone for hours. yes many many hours. once i had a phone marathon kinda thing, trying to break the previous record and so on. well i guess even when time permits me to do so now.. it will be hard to find common topic to communicate. oh well.
surroundings changed as well. and perhaps this is yet another factor that contribute to this problem. perhaps when we were in secondary school we're put with people we had to get along with for four years. and within this four years or so, we adapted our friends way of life and accomodate with their style and behavior. and now when we are in another environment, either colleges or polys. we lost touched with our once close friends and find new company of friends. hence spending less time with our secondary school friends once again. sigh. and now we started to accomodate with this new found group and forget about our once close friends..
friendship issue. sigh sigh sigh. must i experience this now? i always thought that i could avoid this even when i enter teens. guess its not the case for me. well maybe cos i changed. yes i have. i withdrew myself a lot this past year.. instead of sharing openly with people around, i hid my true feelings and emotion. i held back quite a lot. i think i seriously need to open up more. but hard to arh.. i'm no longer the cheerful me anymore i guess...
anyways just a question for you guys to ponder about: what is one thing we can do to improve the quality of life of the world? and how to go about doing it?
its a combination of econs and general paper kinda thing here if you noticed. but anyway to me, instead of concentrating bigger issues like terrorism and pollution, i touched on something really personal. cos i felt that the one thing i wanna change or should i say improve on would be the distance between family members and myself and my friends and me. its been long since anyone could really spend their time sitting down with their loved ones just chatting away their afternoon and spending constructive time together. more often than not we are indulged in things that we spend so much time on and then we neglect about the people around us. how often do we want to meet up with them despite the busy schedule all of us have? usually not i suppose.
technology has made it so convenient that we could drop an sms each time we needed stuff from people.. i remembered years ago i used to call my friends up and would talk on the phone for hours. yes many many hours. once i had a phone marathon kinda thing, trying to break the previous record and so on. well i guess even when time permits me to do so now.. it will be hard to find common topic to communicate. oh well.
surroundings changed as well. and perhaps this is yet another factor that contribute to this problem. perhaps when we were in secondary school we're put with people we had to get along with for four years. and within this four years or so, we adapted our friends way of life and accomodate with their style and behavior. and now when we are in another environment, either colleges or polys. we lost touched with our once close friends and find new company of friends. hence spending less time with our secondary school friends once again. sigh. and now we started to accomodate with this new found group and forget about our once close friends..
friendship issue. sigh sigh sigh. must i experience this now? i always thought that i could avoid this even when i enter teens. guess its not the case for me. well maybe cos i changed. yes i have. i withdrew myself a lot this past year.. instead of sharing openly with people around, i hid my true feelings and emotion. i held back quite a lot. i think i seriously need to open up more. but hard to arh.. i'm no longer the cheerful me anymore i guess...
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
dont you think we are just a small being on this face of the earth? we are so minute as compared to the whole universe! so what are our significance? what are our contributions? does our survival on this planet matter?
sometimes i feel that when we are faced with an obstacle or even when we're in the midst of a problem.. we always think "THATS IT!" is that really so? are our problems SoOoOoo huge that we cant find a solution for it? that the only way out would be to go into hiding? (as mention we are soooo small... think!)
actually why not open up and face it! dont forget there are far greater things in life for us to explore! dont be disappointed with just one failure.. learn from it and carry on living life to its fullest! dont cry until its the end of the world.. continue living continue dreaming continue exploring.. this life of ours is only but one!
[to myself: can we live a life without regrets?
actually i want to....................
BUT i dont know how.]
sometimes i feel that when we are faced with an obstacle or even when we're in the midst of a problem.. we always think "THATS IT!" is that really so? are our problems SoOoOoo huge that we cant find a solution for it? that the only way out would be to go into hiding? (as mention we are soooo small... think!)
actually why not open up and face it! dont forget there are far greater things in life for us to explore! dont be disappointed with just one failure.. learn from it and carry on living life to its fullest! dont cry until its the end of the world.. continue living continue dreaming continue exploring.. this life of ours is only but one!
[to myself: can we live a life without regrets?
actually i want to....................
BUT i dont know how.]
Saturday, April 03, 2004
am hearing 25 minutes now from jul's blog.. missed that song. i remembered its like my favourite song in my primary school days or sth.. somehow remembered me singing (that time wasnt that bad) with 6 love girls.. they were such lovely people! my greatest friends ever in my primary school days! *toast*
..Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twenty five minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twenty five minutes too late..
had gp terms today is this fast or efficient? although its not very badly done (i hope) i think i wont do very well also.. so shall just forget about it..
holidays holidays holidays.. just when i needed you the most you disappeared.. away from my life you drifted further off.. needed that time to recuperate my physical and mental body.. tired exhausted worn out.. wanted that time so0O0o0 badly at this moment.. i missed the beaches off the coast of singapore and i had no time to visit them.. the waves the sand and the horizon.. such lovely lovely place isn't it? i'm going mad from the loads of work i'm faced with everyday.. detest this stressful environment i'm in? but then again where else can i go to? someone save me!
..Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twenty five minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twenty five minutes too late..
had gp terms today is this fast or efficient? although its not very badly done (i hope) i think i wont do very well also.. so shall just forget about it..
holidays holidays holidays.. just when i needed you the most you disappeared.. away from my life you drifted further off.. needed that time to recuperate my physical and mental body.. tired exhausted worn out.. wanted that time so0O0o0 badly at this moment.. i missed the beaches off the coast of singapore and i had no time to visit them.. the waves the sand and the horizon.. such lovely lovely place isn't it? i'm going mad from the loads of work i'm faced with everyday.. detest this stressful environment i'm in? but then again where else can i go to? someone save me!
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
today i went school feeling real excited.. maybe cos i know i'll be meeting my ex free period partner!! well i havent seen him like a lot of months since last year when he left school for sea games.. boy! i missed his company and his presence so much.. is like there are only 3 of us in class who doesnt do literature.. so we usually go to the library or stay in the void deck to just talk gossip and sometimes just me trying to finish up my homework.. those times spent were great.! never a moment of boredom or sian-ness. yeah! and so today was really looking forward to my second free period of the day.. cos he's coming back.. and he's treating me to lunch!! woah! is that good or what? heh greedy me! well we sat down and he talk about his life in ns and stuff.. hmm a pity that time passes so fast and gotta rush for lessons.. hmMmM.. you're such a nice person know.. so here wanna thank you for all the encouragements and everything! thanks lots! may the good lord bless you and all the best for this friday's posting!
[okei i lost my post and i'm too lazy to type everything out AGAIN! so thats it for now]
[okei i lost my post and i'm too lazy to type everything out AGAIN! so thats it for now]
